Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

A History

In 2001, when Charles Swindoll wrote the foreword to Dennis Rainey’s book, Ministering to Twenty-First Century Families he said the church is “a family of families.” He was merely stating in his characteristic, winsome way that families are important in church life. He said,

“Most of the people in a local church are united in a smaller group called a family. In other words, the church is a ‘family of families.’ And of course, the local church is only as strong as its strongest families. Show me a healthy, vibrant local church, and I’ll show you an assembly filled with healthy, vibrant, fully functioning families.” ¹

No one thought he was redefining the nature of the church.

In 2002 when the National Center for Family Integrated Churches used the phrase “family of families” in its first version of A Biblical Confession for Uniting Church and Family,² critics claimed we had fundamentally redefined the nature of the church and made it family based. They took these three little words out of their immediate context in a twelve point confession and ignored the wider context of our overall message. Thus in many cases, the phrase was intentionally or unintentionally misrepresented.

In 2004, when Andreas Kostenberger used the phrase “family of families” to describe the church in his book God, Marriage and Family, I doubt anyone accused him of trying to redefine the church. And rightly so, because he was simply pointing out the significance of a particularly important family relationship (marriage) that exists in the church for God’s strategic purposes for spiritual warfare and the proclamation of the gospel.³ In this sense, the family exists as an entity under the headship of Christ and so the church exists in the same way. The family and the church are separate, yet connected in carrying out Christ’s overall plan.

In 2007 Voddie Baucham used the phrase in his book, Family Driven Faith. He said,

“Our Church has no youth ministers, children’s ministers, or nursery. We do not divide families into component parts. We do not separate the mature women from the young teenage girls who need their guidance. We do not separate the toddler from his parents during worship. In fact, we don’t even do it in Bible study. We see the church as a family of families.” ⁴

Those same three words became the center of criticism against his entire book. Although he thoroughly answered his critics in two articles posted on his blog,⁵ many speakers and writers still continue to ignore his explanation.

Quite a stir

These words caused quite a stir. They became the favorite whipping boy of our critics for years on end. Three words became the oft repeated point in attempt to refute the message of the NCFIC and discredit anyone else connected to the family integrated church movement. Typically, critics would use the term, elaborate on a meaning we did not endorse, and make conclusions we have never made. This was done from conference speaking platforms, seminary classrooms, and radio show microphones. It was done in pulpits to warn church members in church meetings. It appeared in books and blogs. It was referenced in articles and masters theses. In fact we are aware of one particular Master’s thesis for a theological seminary which bases its whole argument against us on these three words pulled out of context.

All of this over three words which appear in one single place in the context of the NCFIC Confession for Uniting Church and Family,⁷ and in Voddie Baucham’s Family Driven Faith.

Individual words and phrases matter. But as any faithful student of scripture should know, words and phrases have to be understood in context, and attention given to the author’s intent. This is the basis of journalistic integrity. Taken out of context words can be used to say almost anything including the exact opposite of their original intent. Most of the criticism that has been directed to us over these three words has been aimed at straw man interpretations of the phrase that we would heartily join in condemning.

What we mean by “the church is a family of families”

It is a falsehood to say that the National Center for Family Integrated Churches advocates a “family of families” ecclesiology. In fact, our understanding of the nature of the church is consistent with the historic doctrinal statements of the faith including the Second London Baptist Confession of 1689, the Westminster Confession of Faith, the Heidelberg Catechism, and many other orthodox statements on the church. It is the same understanding I received as a young man when I was in seminary. We do not advocate a “family of families” ecclesiology. Rather, our ecclesiology is as rich and clear as the Second London Baptist Confession of 1689 and the Westminster confession.

When we were writing the NCFIC Confession for Uniting Church and Family our intent was to explain the complementary roles of church and family. We wanted to reflect a biblical understanding of the way that church and family operate in a symbiotic manner. We also hoped it would help church leaders think more biblically about church and family life. In short, the “confession” tries to state the biblical case for the ways the church can be a blessing to the family and the family to the church. It also identifies various departures from biblical church and family life and calls for biblical clarity on these matters.

An excellent phrase when understood properly

What we mean when we say that “the church is a family of families” is that the family needs to be acknowledged in church life. We meant it the same way that Swindoll, Baucham, and Kostenberger did. We believe that it rightly raises the warning that in the modern church, family life often disappears and is swallowed up in institutional church life. We wanted to say that it was wrong to treat the family in this manner. At the same time we wanted to affirm that both are important and they need to be preserved. Therefore, it is improper to understand this statement as a redefinition of the nature of the church. Voddie Baucham explains, “When we use the term ‘family of families’ we are not addressing the nature of the church. Let me say that again V-E-R-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y… THE TERM FAMILY OF FAMILIES IS NOT A COMMENT ON THE NATURE OF THE CHURCH!”⁸

Baucham makes the point that his statement only comments on matters of church structure. He says,

“The difference between the FIC and the neo-traditional church is not a matter of the nature, but the structure of the church. In fact, we argue that our model is much more in keeping with the proper theological understanding of the nature of the church, which would explain why age integration was the model for the New Testament church for nearly 2,000 years before the neo-traditional, age segregated transformation turned the church into isolated segments as opposed to a single, unified body.Thus, those who divide the church into artificial, culturally-defined cliques (children, students, college/career, young marrieds, old marrieds, senior adults, etc.) are the ones who have a difficult time fitting their model into the understanding both Lawrence and I share.” ⁹

The phrase, ‘family of families” was never meant to be a comprehensive ecclesiological statement; it only served to demonstrate that the church is not exclusively composed of individuals, by acknowledging that there is a second biblical authority and jurisdiction in the church when a family comes to church. We wanted to clarify an important matter that church leaders are charged, not only to equip individuals, but also family members. They come to church as fathers and mothers and children and they need help to function biblically in their relationships in their homes.

By saying, ‘the church is a family of families,” are we confusing the church and the family?

We have plainly stated that the family is not the church and the church is not the family; they are separate yet complimentary jurisdictions.

Some have connected the statement, “family of families” with concepts of covenantal family and church membership. Some have suggested that we confuse the regenerate and the unregenerate in the church and make them the same because they are part of a family. We have never done this. We do not believe that every family member is a member of the true church. On the contrary, we maintain that the true church is composed only of individual redeemed sinners.

We acknowledge that many family members, though they are under the care of their parents and come to the meetings of the church, remain unconverted. They are part of the church only in that they come to meetings of the church, listen to the preaching of the church, relate to the redeemed members of the church and participate in the discipleship experiences of the church. Children may attend church but not be part of the church as converted members of Christ. Yet, they are still in the church in the sense that they have been sovereignly placed among the people of God. They are blessed by its members, message and ministry. This is all we mean when we say the church is a “family of families.” We don’t mean that all family members are converted and part of the redeemed. Voddie Baucham stated it this way, “We Are Not Commenting On Membership in the Church.”⁶ Like Baucham, we did not mean that every family member is a part of the universal church in the sense that they are all converted members.

What have we learned from this controversy over “Family of Families”?

Someone once said that “critics are the unpaid guardians of the soul,” and so we are grateful for both dialog and diatribe. It has shown us that we see through “a glass darkly.” It has demonstrated that in our attempt to explain heavenly things, we often struggle to find human language that meets both the heavenly and the earthly standard. Sometimes we are genuinely misunderstood. Other times men do their best to twist our words, make us worse than we are and find themselves unable to correct their erroneous mischaracterizations. At the end of the day, we understand that we are imperfect men trying to be faithful to the faithful testimony of scripture.

We have no intention to abandon the use of the phrase or the concept behind it. It is a very important principle that undergirds a biblical understanding of church and family life. We think Swindoll said it very beautifully and Baucham explained it with the kind of precision that should answer every question for all to see that it fits within the range of biblical thinking. We think that Kostenberger explained one of the stunning aspects of this as he describes the importance of a marriage under the headship of Christ in God’s redemptive plan.

Because of the tendency of critics to take these three words out of their context, misinterpret them and claim that we are advocating a new ecclesiology we kept trying to explain it better. We kept modifying the statement to make it clearer and more reflective of scripture. Today, the term “family of families” appears nowhere in current NCFIC literature. In 2008, we explained the same concept without using the words “family of families.” Even so, we believe the term has significant value in explaining one aspect of church and family life. In this spirit, we have tried to explain the idea rather than use the term.

Here is the old statement – one of twelve articles,

Article VI — Church is a Family of Families

We affirm that our Heavenly Father designed His church to be a spiritual household — a “family of families and singles” where members know one another intimately, the shepherds understand the sheep effectively, and the various body parts function interactively (1 Tim. 3:15).

We deny/reject the current trend to value numbers and size more than intimacy and vitality by building impersonal mega-churches rather than the multiplication of family-like congregations.¹⁰

Our intent was not to redefine the church, but to acknowledge that when a family comes to church, a separate jurisdiction is there that needs to be strengthened to be faithful to their biblical callings and commands that govern family life.

In December 2008, the NCFIC updated the confession and removed these three words and replaced them with this statement, one of sixteen articles,

Article VI— The Church is a Family of Believers that Includes Families

We affirm that local churches are spiritual households that include individual family units which are separate and distinct jurisdictions that should be cared for and strengthened to fulfill their God ordained roles, not only as individuals but also as families (1 Tim. 3:15, Ephesians 5:22-33, Ephesians 6:1-4).

We deny/reject the current trend in churches that ignores the family unit, is blind to strengthening it, systematically fragments it and does not actively work to equip her members to be faithful family members.¹¹

¹ Swindoll, Charles, Foreword to: [Rainey, Dennis Ministering to Twenty-first Century Families: Eight Big Ideas for Church Leaders, Thomas Nelson Publishers: Nashville, ©2001], p. XI

² The text for the original “A Biblical Confession for Uniting Church and Family” can be found at www.visionforumministries.org/home/about/a_biblical_confession_for_unit_1.aspx (Accessed 11/5/2009)

³ “Just as Christ must rule over all heavenly powers (Eph. 1:21-22) and over the church (4:15), he must also rule over the marital relationship (5:21-33), the family (6:1-4), and the workplace (6:5-9). A married couple is part of the church (understood as a family of families, cf. I Tim. 3:15), and it, too, is part of that spiritual warfare that resolutely resists evil (Eph. 6:10-14) and seeks to promote God’s purpose in this world (foremost the preaching of the gospel, 6:15. 19-20). Thus the marriage relationship should also be viewed in the context of Christian witness in an unbelieving environment, both directly by the husband’s and the wife’s living out God’s purposes for the Christian couple, and indirectly by being part of a Biblical church that actively propagates the gospel message.” (Kostenberger, Andreas, God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation, [Crossway Books: Wheaton, IL, ©2004], p. 72, pg. 61 in the second edition).

⁴ Baucham, Voddie, Family Driven Faith: Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters who Walk with God, Crossway Books: Wheaton, Illinois, ©2007, p.191

⁵ “Is the Church a Family of Families?” Parts 1, 2, can be accessed at www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/26_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families.html and www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/27_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families_2.html successively. (Accessed 11/5/2009)

⁶ Baucham, Voddie, “Is The Church a Family of Families?”, Part 1, can be accessed at www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/26_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families.html (Accessed 11/05/2009)

⁷ www.ncfic.org/confession

⁸ Baucham, Voddie, “Is the Church a Family of Families?”, Part 1, can be accessed at www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/26_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families.html (Accessed 11/9/2009)

⁹ Ibid.

¹⁰ The text for the original “A Biblical Confession for Uniting Church and Family” can be found at www.visionforumministries.org/home/about/a_biblical_confession_for_unit_1.aspx (Accessed 11/5/2009)

¹¹ www.ncfic.org/confession

Continue Reading »

Here is the bottom line: You cannot minister to the weak families unless you have strong families. Strong families are dependent upon obedient men and holy women. If we never have healthy families, then we will never have healthy churches.

The following six things are biblically mandated elements of church and family life. Each one can help to foster healthy family life, and ultimately strong churches.

1. Provide biblically qualified elders

When a church establishes biblically qualified elders who manage their households well (1 Timothy 3), they are providing for long term social change. As these men lead by example, the whole church begins to understand how a biblically ordered family functions.

2. Encourage biblical headship in the home

How do you define a broken family? It starts with the role of the head of the house. Families are broken by men and women who do not fulfill their God ordained roles. If the church ever hopes to minister to broken families, it must start by going back to scripture to find how men should be spiritual leaders in their homes. We need to be about the business of equipping men for biblical manhood.

Who will minister to the lost youth of this generation? Families and churches must reach out to preach the gospel and teach all that Christ commanded.

3. Stop creating weak families through your programs

We believe that the modern church has missed the mark by doing things that keep families weak. The church has not maintained biblical priorities for family life. When we do this, we end up withholding adequate role models or worse, we have no good role models for our weak families. If you want to build strong families you have to stop creating weak families by maintaining unbiblical, family weakening practices. Until this changes in a church, families will remain weak and broken.

4. Make the church a true family

You must give broken families a biblical church family that exemplifies Christ’s love for the church. It is in a healthy church family that people with broken families learn something they did not know before – how to be a family (Mark 10:30).

5. Provide for the lifestyle of Titus 2 women in the church

Titus 2 gives a picture of women in strong families ministering to young families. When you promote Titus 2 women who will instruct the younger women you have provided a key component to church and family life that generates strong women and strong families. If you do not encourage women to be holy keepers at home you will never be able to have strong families. This is a culture defying act but it must be done because it is a key component to biblical Christianity.

6. Provide intergenerational worship and education

Families are strengthened by participation in biblical discipleship methodology that is intergenerational. This is the only pattern that we find in Scripture. There is no such thing as age specific ministry in the Bible. It needs to be admitted that putting thirteen year olds with thirteen year olds is a very foolish and unscriptural practice. Until churches change this and similar practices, the vicious cycle of decline will continue.

Two critical issues need to be addressed. First, refusing to give priority to making strong families in our churches ensures that we will always be calling people to weakness.

Second, neglecting the biblical directives for family life rejects the major biblical methods for ministry to youth.

Our failure to obey the word of God in ministry to youth is of enormous significance for the prosperity of the church. At this time, as we continue many unbiblical practices, we are systematically sending our young people on the path of destruction. It is fracturing our families. It is corrupting our churches. It is destroying the next generation.

If we ever expect to see change, it is important to stop doing the things that make for weak families and start practicing the things that strengthen them.

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

I live in deer country. When deer season opens, the camo army appears. Work schedules change. Pickup trucks are found in the most unusual places. The gunfire in the morning and evening can sound like an approaching army. Grease paint and fluorescent hats are a common sight mid-morning at the local Hardees. Deer are cagey and difficult, but they can be brought down by a well-placed shot. It does no good to hit a deer in the tail or the leg or the hind end as it will just scamper off into the woods. If you want to bag a deer, you must hit him in the right spot – the heart or the lungs. Nothing else will do. Only a shot to a very small target area will bring him down.

A good hunter knows where to aim. He knows the difference between an effective shot and an ineffective one.

In the same way, Satan is firing his shots, not wildly into the air, but directly at the heart and breath of the church – to those foundational areas that would break her down.

The cross-hairs of Satan are on the delivery systems of the truths of God’s relationship with humanity:

• The Word of God
• Marriage
• Biblical Fatherhood

Providentially, the accuser’s efforts will ultimately fail. Jesus said, “I will build My church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). Satan will be defeated. Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

But, there will be times, as the history of Israel and the church proves, that the people of God will wander as we see in the days of the Judges where “everyone did what is right in their own eyes” (Deut. 12:8, Judg. 17:6, 21:25), and in the days of Samuel, when the “Word of God was rare” (1 Sam. 3:1).

These times have always set the stage for evil to have a field day. I believe that our times fall into this category as Satan is successfully knocking out major strategic targets.

If you wanted to take over a city, you would first go after the major supply, communications, food, power, water and transportation systems. Blow out the delivery systems and chaos rules.

This is exactly what is happening to the church. The attacks against her are strategic.

The fallout from this strategic attack against the church is producing cataclysmic conditions.

I realize that the preceding words I have chosen are loaded: ‘blow out,” “chaos,” “fallout,” “cataclysmic.” I use these words with careful consideration. I believe that these extreme times require extreme measures.

One Denominational Response

The Southern Baptist Convention, has long been a leader in defending many core Biblical doctrines. Her leadership has recently issued a call to arms regarding these issues, particularly as they relate to the family and Biblical roles within the family. Let me quote from the “Southern Baptist Council on Family Life” which was formed because of the rising concern with breakdown in the family.

America’s families are in trouble. Evidence pouring in from every sector of our society reaffirms that simple but tragic statement. Consider the following:

• One million children a year see their parents divorce (Heritage Foundation)
• America’s divorce rate is now more than double that in 1960
• 35% of our nation’s children live apart from their biological fathers (U.S. Census)
• In the last 40 years, pregnancies out of wedlock have increased 600% (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services)
• In less that 40 years cohabitation by unmarried couples has increased almost 1,000% (U.S. Census Bureau)
• 32% of all births in 1995 were out-of-wedlock. (Leading Cultural Indicators, Bill Bennett)
• Most people now live together before they marry for the first time.
• Currently more marriages are terminated by divorce than by death of a spouse.
• Less than 40% of married people claim to be very happy (National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago)
• 50% of children who do not live with their fathers have in fact, never stepped foot in their father’s home (Leading Cultural indicators, Bill Bennett)

In response to rising concern, the Southern Baptist Convention at its 1998 meeting in Salt Lake City Utah adopted an historic amendment to the Baptist Faith and Message. This amendment established the Biblical foundation for our understanding of the family and the roles God has ordained for each family member.

But much more was required than a simple statement of conviction and concern! During his report to the Convention as it assembled for its 2000 meeting in Orlando Florida, Morris Chapman, president of the SBC Executive Committee, urged Southern Baptists to take the next step and “save the family.” By executive appointment, he created what was then termed the Southern Baptist Convention Committee on Family Life.” Next, the “Southern Baptist Council on the Family” was created to recommend strategy to strengthen the family.

The scriptural direction for these actions were identified by the following scripture passages: Exodus 20:14, I Corinthians 6:18-20, Acts 2:46-47, Hebrews 10:25, I Corinthians 12:11-27, I Corinthians 4:2, II Corinthians 8-9, Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8.

Effects Far Beyond the Family

These attacks undermine not just the family, but the entire enterprise of the spread of the gospel and the equipping of the saints.

It is true that in every area of attack, there is a profound impact on the family. But, make no mistake about it: what happens in a family spins out a whirlwind of results reaching to every aspect of the calling of the church as salt and light. Here are a few examples:

• When there is a divorce, it is not just a marriage that ends up on the rocks; evangelism washes up with it. Massive energy is shifted to the wounds of the divorce and the time that could have been given (over lunch and walks and water coolers) to the communication of the precious callings and promises of God is lost. And, disrepute is brought to the name of Christ. God said, “I hate divorce” (Malachi 2:16).
• When men are passive and refuse to take action to personally train the next generation, it is not just their kids that suffer, it is every person those kids meet and every church they attend for the rest of their lives. Imagine millions of children trying to wade through the trials and tribulations of this world unarmed with the Word of God, the “Sword of the Spirit” “hidden in their hearts” (Eph. 6:17, Psalm 119:11). Let’s call this what it truly is: a devastating deprivation.
• When men do not rise up and manage their households well, qualifying them to lead the church, “equipping the saints for the work of the ministry” (Eph. 4:12) suffers, creating a dearth of qualified men. The equipping of the saints suffers because there are too few men across which to spread the workload.
• When our churches are self centered, instead of God centered, it is not just the people in that church who suffer, missionary activity is squelched and the people are not strong enough to face the challenges and potential losses of comfort and money on the mission field.

Here is a summary of the three targets receiving these brutal attacks:

1. The Word of God. This is the rejection of God and His Word of God as the authoritative, sufficient rule of the life for the people of God. Even the churches which claim to believe in inerrancy, have not understood the concept of the sufficiency of Scripture. The church, in its sincere attempt to become relevant to society, in order to save the lost, has unwittingly rejected God and His Word and has heaped upon itself programs and forms that not only cannot be found in the Bible, but they also work to secularize, immobilize and trivialize. These modern ways often sweep her beauty and strength away. Our only hope; our only source of joy; our only Treasure – God – has been swept aside for a “theology” of pragmatism. Or, perhaps better called, ecclesiological pragmatism.
2. Marriage: This is the breakdown of marriage and the resulting fracturing of the next generation and the resulting disfiguring of the evangelistic example of the love of God. When a marriage dissolves a number of hellish effects are multiplied. The foundational order that God put in place for society includes a husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). When a man allows the dismemberment of his marriage, he has committed a crime against the love of God, derision toward the institutions of God, and weakness for future generations.
3. Biblical Fatherhood: This is the bypassing and neutralizing (spiritually castrating) of men as the leaders of their homes. Our modern churches are implicitly structured to bypass God’s primary delivery system of the truth. Deut 6, Ps 78, Ps 145, Eph 6. In losing their creation order identity and role, they have lost their virility. They could be heroes of the faith, with righteousness shining from one generation to the next, but they have become mules instead, with their multiplication capability removed. Eph 4:1-11, I Cor 11-14.

These attacks have profoundly affected the structure and philosophy of the modern church facilitating Satan’s objectives.
C.S. Lewis has captured the situation in his revealing story of “The Screwtape Letters. In the book, Screwtape, an experienced devil, is instructing his underling on how to trap humans.

“One of our great allies at present is the church itself. Do not misunderstand me. I do not mean the church as we see here spread out through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners. That, I confess, is a spectacle which makes our boldest tempters uneasy. But fortunately it is quite invisible to these humans”. –C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Our churches, in our teaching and structure, have unconsciously and unintentionally become co-workers with the enemy.

In this sense, we have become our own worst enemy.

Jesus grieves over the loss of Biblical order in the church. Jesus says “follow me”.

Continue Reading »

“It is often forgotten that the Christianity which conquered the Roman Empire was essentially a home centered movement.” – Robert and Julia Banks

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners? On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matt 9:10-12).

We need to restore the role of the household that we see in the ministry of Jesus and the expansion of the early church. As Michael Green has said, “One of the most important methods of spreading the gospel in antiquity was by the use of homes.” (Michael Green, Evangelism in the Early Church, p223).

The home in the New Testament was the center of spiritual activity. Even a casual reading of the New Testament reveals that the home was a haven for prayer, healing, Biblical teaching, breaking of bread, hospitality, ministry to the sick and happy genuine relationships. In short, it was a place to display the truth, justice, mercy and goodness of God.

It is clear from scripture that the home was designed by God to be a place of ministry fueled by the compassion of Christ for broken and lost people. In the gospels, we constantly see Jesus ministering in homes. On one particular occasion, the hunger for the ministry of Jesus in a home was so sought after that some men tore off the roof to lower their friend so that he could be near Jesus. Jesus had compassion on him and healed him on the spot.

Examples From Scripture

Here are some places in the New Testament where the word “house” or “household” is used. In almost all of the cases in the following list, the idea of a person’s network is not the context but the actual events taking place in a physical house or a specific family unit.

Healing

“When Jesus came to Peter’s house he saw Peter’s mother in law lying in bed with a fever and the fever left her and she got up and began to wait on him” – Matthew 8:14

Principle: Sensitivity to the sick in the house you are visiting can result in their healing.

Love for Unbelievers in Their Own Households

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners? On hearing this, Jesus said, It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” – Matthew 9:10-12

Principle: Visiting the house of an unbeliever gives opportunity to demonstrate the love of God. No uptight Christians need apply.

Prayer for Sick People While You Are In Their Houses

“He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends o say to him: Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. …Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well” – Luke 7:6-10

Households that view themselves as far from God are reachable when we pray for the inhabitants.

Principle: Pray for the people in the houses in your neighborhood that need healing, no matter how lost they seem on the outside.

Prayer for Sick People in their Own Houses

“Then the father realized that this was the exact time at which Jesus had said to him, ‘your son will live.’ So he and all his household believed. This was the second miraculous sign that Jesus performed, having come from Judea to Galilee.” – John 4:49-54

Principle: Prayer for the people in homes other than your own is effectual.

Bring unbelieving friends into the atmospheres of grace in your household.

“Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as when stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears…” – Luke 7:36

Bringing sinners into your home to rub shoulders with righteous people exposes them to the mercy of God.

Principle: Arrange for your unbelieving friends to join with your Christian friends in your household.

Be Intentional

Focus relationships on gladness, sincerity, praising God and evangelism as people are in your home. Be intentional. Get everyone focused on being this kind of household.

“They broke bread together from house to house and ate together with glad and sincere hearts praising god and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added daily to their number those who were being saved.” – Acts 2:46

Principle: Believers were experiencing happy times together in their homes with genuine, honest and open relationships with a focus on God, and the result was salvation of the lost.

Ensure that teachers frequent your home and make it an ordinary part of your home life.

“The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.” – Acts 541-42

Principle: The home is a great place for teaching of your family and neighbors by godly visitors.

Encourage Unbelievers to Pray in their Households.

“Cornelius answered: Four days ago I was in my house praying at this hour, at three in the afternoon. Suddenly a man in shining clothes stood before me and said, Cornelius, God has heard your prayer and remembered your gifts to the poor. Send to Joppa for Simon who is called Peter… 11:13 He told us how he had seen an angel appear in his house and say, Send to Joppa for Simon who is called Peter.” – Acts 10:30 and Acts 11:13

He will bring you a message through which you and all your household will be saved.

Principle: Prayer at home opens the household to the salvation of Jesus Christ.

Relationships built through tough experiences can open up opportunity for salvation for a whole family.

“They replied, believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved – you and your household. Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God – he and his whole family”. – Acts 16:31

Principle: Faithful messengers who keep their focus on God in times of crisis can be used to transform whole families.

Could Your Home Serve to Establish a Church in Your Community?

“Greet the church in his house” – Romans 16:5

Churches met primarily in homes in the first 3 centuries of church history. Your home can become a church where believers meet for prayer and instruction. Do you think God could use your home to launch a church in your community?

Principle: Your home can be a place for the meeting of the church

Be Aware of False Teaching that Ruins Households and Take Action

“They must be silenced because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach – and that for the sake of dishonest gain.” – Titus 1:11

Principle: The teaching that goes on in a household can ruin it. And, don’t forget that the TV brings a host of false teachers into your home.

Focus on the Important Things and Know the Difference Between Essential and Non Essential

“If an unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience.” – I Cor. 10:27-33

Principle: Eating meals with unbelievers in their homes should give them a sense of the winsome grace of God. No uptight Christians allowed.

The Lord Should Direct the Agenda of the Household

“Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat – for he grants sleep to those he loves.” – Ps 127:1

The Lord should be the source of everything that happens in the household. Also, too much work will take you away from your task of working with the Lord to build your house.

Principle: Unless you work with Him, it is a labor in vain.

The compassion of Christ is the most important aspect of hour home’s usefulness in bringing healing to your community.

Jesus Weeps over Jerusalem

Principle: The tender heart of Jesus in your household will not cause you to reject but to invite.

The term “hospitality” is key in understanding how to use your home as a center of evangelism. Romans 12:13, I Peter 4:9, Hebrews 13:1-2, I Timothy 3:2, I Timothy 5:10.

In the early church the work of evangelism and equipping was regularly staged in the context of a home. The home was the cradle of the church.

Continue Reading »

As we survey the Scriptures, we find that the protection of daughters reached a low point in Lot’s household in Sodom. There are times in history that are better or worse for daughters, and this slice of history was one of the low watermarks.[1] The account of Lot and his daughters is found in Genesis 19:4-11:

Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.” So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him, and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.” And they said, “Stand back!” Then they said, “This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.” So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door. But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door. And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.

This story illustrates Lot’s devastating syncretism in Sodom. On display is his failure to protect his daughters. While the protection of Lot’s daughters is only one of many themes in the narrative, what is described here gives us a vivid and startling example of what lack of protection by a father looks like and helps us to understand how a father, through poor choices, can abdicate his responsibility bit by bit, resulting in grave peril to his daughters.

Lot’s action in offering his daughters to the immoral men of Sodom is an outrage. Our natural gut response is, “How could he treat his daughters this way?”

Yet we often are so repulsed by what Lot did that we miss the point. The core of the problem was a sinful incursion in Lot’s life that expressed itself in a lack of protection toward his daughters.

We must not be so quick to distance ourselves from Lot and denounce him, as we ourselves are not exempt from the lessons his example offers. We must examine the text and attempt to carefully discern what was really happening to Lot and his family and seek to learn from it.

Interpreting the Story

Genesis 19 requires some careful investigation of the various places and personalities that are included in the story. If we breeze over the narrative, we might be tempted to be filled with righteous indignation toward Lot.

A cursory treatment of the passage might cause us to think that the focus of the text centers around the evils of homosexuality. If we are not homosexuals, our tendency is to distance ourselves from what took place with Lot in Sodom, thus missing clear lessons that we can learn from Lot’s errant example.

Because of the horrible things that happened to Lot and his family in Sodom, we are tempted to look at Lot and say, “That’s not me, I am in a different category.” Considering our own lives we would rather dismiss the story and think that it applies to someone else.

When we examine the broader record of Scripture regarding Lot’s life, however, it becomes apparent that there is something more that Moses wanted us to understand through the Genesis account.

II Peter 2:4-10 gives us one of the interpretive keys to the passage. In his letter, Peter is speaking of the judgment against unrighteousness and how that God through His indignation will deliver Satan and his hosts into chains of darkness. Looking to the past, he writes of how he did not spare the ancient world in Noah’s day, though Noah was a preacher of righteousness. Then, he writes about Lot in the same way:

For if God did not spare the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved for judgment; turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward who live ungodly; and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked. For that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds-then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment, and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority… (II Peter 2:4-10)

Peter Gives us a Spiritual Profile of Lot

Those who embrace a narrow view of Lot may be surprised at the positive terms that Peter uses to describe him: “Righteous”, “Oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked”, “Tormented his righteous soul day by day.”

Peter makes at least three things clear. First, Lot was not reveling in excesses of Sodom. Second, he was outraged by the evil conduct of his fellow citizens. Third, he was deeply conflicted by what he observed around him.

We are not so different than Lot. We see the trends of culture, and we are absolutely outraged. We cast judgment on the sins that are running amok in our land. We are alarmed by the cultural indicators. Like Lot, we see what is going on around us, and we are distressed by it, but there is no way we can completely disengage from the evil influences of our culture. They are inextricably a part of us.

Lot was a righteous man, and his righteousness was by faith alone. In this sense, he is a spiritual son of Abraham. He believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness. He was not saved by his own works, but from the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Knowing that Lot offered his daughters to the man of Sodom, it is shocking to say that Lot was a righteous man, but this is what God’s Word teaches.

Lot was standing in judgment of the culture in Sodom. In verse 9, we see the men of Sodom say to him, “This one keeps acting like a judge.” Lot’s righteous soul was vexed by what he observed in the city. And because he was not going along with everything in Sodom, he was chided for being judgmental.

So, why did Lot offer his daughters?

First, he was pressured by the surrounding situation. Lot was being threatened by the people of the city — and not just by a few people in the city, but by his entire constituency. People from all age groups and all locations of Sodom were demanding carnal relations with the visitors in his household.

We must understand (and sympathize) with Lot for the fierce external pressure upon him to fit in to the desires of the people around him. How often do we do the exact same thing? Have you ever felt pressured by your constituency to compromise? Have you ever made a wrong decision under the pressing fear of man?

John Calvin comments that “Lot was prepared to expose his own daughters to dishonour, in order to save his guests.”[2] Kent Hughes notes, “Lot placed the sanctity of hospitality above the sanctity of his family.”[3] Someone once said that he preferred some other social grace than the protection of his daughters. Lot did not want to rock the boat with the men of Sodom with whom he desired to coexist. He did not want to appear too odd.

Second, it must have seemed “normal” enough for to him to offer his daughters. Among the alternatives, it seemed reasonable to Lot to present an alternative to the men that they could accept. But how could this have seemed normal? Here, we find further evidence of his incremental moral slippage under the influence of Sodom. Looking back in the narrative, we find him first pitching his tent toward Sodom. Later, we find him living in Sodom. Finally, he is a civil magistrate possessing the favor that position implies. Now he has something to protect — his position.

People do not become base in a moment, but after many moments over many years — after many compromises. No one just “falls” into wrong thinking. It takes time and external pressures to dull our sensibilities.

What exactly did Lot do? He did at least three things. First, he opened the door to his daughter’s vulnerability. Second, by opening the door to their vulnerability, he was actually promoting it. Third, he withdrew his protection.

It is painfully obvious that Lot did not protect his daughters. He did what is unthinkable to our sensibilities, but his behavior reminds us that there are times in history when the social pressures cause fathers to disconnect with their daughters.

Lot lived in a culture where there was ferocious pressure to withdraw protection from his daughters. And, he lived in a culture where it was normal enough — it was “thinkable” to offer his daughters to the men of Sodom.

For we who are living in “Sodom,” this should cause us to ask ourselves several questions: “What pressures are there in our culture that would cause us to withdraw protection from our daughters and leave them vulnerable? Or, “What are the normal things we do in our culture that add up to withdrawing our protection?” Or, “Am I as vigilant as I should be in protecting my daughter?”

Rather than condemn Lot, we must examine our own hearts and learn from his example. Protecting our daughters from evil is too important for us to do otherwise.

1. Another low point of protection for daughters found in Scripture is that of Jacob and Dinah. In Genesis 34, we learn the Jacob permitted Dinah to go “out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1), resulting in her rape.
2. John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries (Banner of Truth Trust), p. 498.
3. R. Kent Hughes, Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (Crossway Books), p. 272.

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

Even though the feminist agenda cheerily shouts, “You can have it all,” and “You’ve come a long way, baby,” daughters have a natural bent toward hopelessness. Everywhere they turn, they are confronted with their inadequacy. Whether the role model is Barbie or Brittany or Hillary, daughters can easily fall prey to comparisons that would lead them astray—to desires that would undo them.

In Genesis 19, we find the story of what happened when Lot’s daughters lost hope. In her perceived hopeless estate, Lot’s eldest daughter explained to her younger sister the dilemma they find themselves in, as she saw it, “Now the firstborn said to the younger, ‘Our father is old, and there is no man on the earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth’” (Genesis 19:31).

Lot’s eldest daughter grew panicked by lack of hope. She saw no human means for the fulfillment of her longings as a woman.

Her perspective brings us face to face with two very important realities. First, the inclinations of the firstborn have a big impact on those siblings who follow them. In this case, the oldest daughter could have led in better directions. My firstborn daughter, Kelly, is one who has led the way for all siblings and cousins coming up behind her. Many times I have prayed thanks to God for this. What a blessing it is to have the firstborn with a heart toward God!

If you are firstborn, you have a unique place in your family as a pacesetter. Much hinges upon your behavior. Your younger siblings are watching your example. You eldest daughters: guard your hearts, for it is the wellspring of life—both for you and for many other lives as well.

Second, Lot’s daughter was filled with fear. She was afraid for the future of her heritage, and she acted upon those fears. This is the same fear that grips the hearts of every daughter in every age. She fears that somehow she will be left out of marriage and family. Every young woman I have ever known at some point comes to struggle with this boogeyman. It goes like this: “No one will ever love me”; “there are zero men around that I could want to marry”; “I am not attractive enough to attract a good man”; “the pool of men that I would be interested in is too small….”

This brings us to an important point that fathers need to monitor. A father needs to understand what is going on in the heart of his daughter regarding four of her great enemies: fear, loneliness, self-pity, and purposelessness. He should always have his antennae up for these destructive vices.

One area that a father should be tuned into is the music his daughter listens to. He should understand the tunes and lyrics of her favorite songs. Why? The vast majority of the popular songs of the day are filled with messages and chord progressions that will tend to plunge her deeper into a type of introspection that nourishes her fears. When a young woman begins to be led by these forces, nothing good will come of it. If a daughter’s virtue in bring compromised due to bad musical influences, a father must step in and take action.

Hopelessness in a young woman is a powder keg. Fathers, are your daughters lonely and insecure about the future? Then come to their aid and refresh them with the salvation of God. Help them to trust God and not to lean on their own understanding.

We don’t know exactly why Lot’s daughters had such a dim outlook. They were likely normal girls with normal temptations. What we do know is that when they looked out into the future, they could not see how God would bring them husbands, so they compromised.

If you are a daughter whose outlook toward the future looks dim, and you are tempted to jump ahead of God, then slow down; be patient. God will provide.

Another point to consider regarding the fear of Lot’s daughter’s is this: their uncle Abraham lived only a short distance away from them, and he was a godly man with a large extended household. Abraham would likely have had many young men under his oversight who could have made potential spouses for Lot’s daughters. Given their close proximity to Abraham, why then would Lot’s daughters say that “there is no man on the earth” who could be their husband? Why were they so afraid? The text does not reveal the answer.

What is revealed is this: Lot’s daughters panicked and sought a pragmatic alternative. Genesis 19:32-35 explains the perverted course they took to “solve” their problem:

Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger, “Indeed I lay with my father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

In the above narrative, we can observe at least two ways in which the protection of Lot’s daughters broke down.

First, you can see the breakdown of Lot’s protection in the character of his daughters. Lot’s daughters’ character qualities are revealed in striking fashion. They placed their trust in human means, and they did whatever they had to do to bring about the result they were after. In this case, they get their father drunk to suit their ends. These daughters were manipulative—children of Sodom and Gomorrah. Here is what Ray Stedman says about what they had become under their father’s roof:

These two girls were virgins in body, but they were already debauched in mind. They had long since grown accustomed to obscenity and unrestrained luridness, so, up in the cave on the mountainside, they seized the thinnest tissue of excuses and the story ends in a foul orgy of drunkenness and incest. Lot had nothing but heartbreak and grief to show for the years in Sodom. The Lord said, “For whoever would save his life will lose it,” (Matt 16:25a {RSV}). So Lot, trying to get the best out of both worlds, lost all and has become for all time the picture of the Christian who is saved, “but only as through fire,” (1 Cor 3:15b {RSV}). He has nothing but wasted years to look back on and eternity ahead.

Lot’s daughters possessed the same qualities of their father Lot. They were “their father’s daughters.” Not surprisingly, they did with their father the same thing that he proposed they do with the men of Sodom. They had become like their father. Their thinking process was just like his.

A father needs to be very discerning. He needs to be constantly asking, “Are my daughters becoming children of Sodom (Hollywood) or children of God? Are my daughters filled with hope? Do they have faith that God will see them through every difficulty and confusing trial that they encounter?

Our daughters need two things to hedge their vulnerability from these gripping fears of the heart. First, they need to have a father who will debunk the destructive ways of the world and show them how to avoid them. This is what Lot did not do. Instead of debunking the wrong notions about womanhood foisted on his daughters by the children of Sodom, Lot let them be.

Second, our daughters need to have a clear vision of Christ, and they need to be encouraged to become like Him. In Hebrews 1:9, we learn that Jesus Christ, when considered among his band of disciples, was the happiest of them all. And why was He so happy? The writer of Hebrews gives the answer: “Thou hast loved righteousness and hated lawlessness. Therefore, God, Thy God has anointed you with the oil of gladness above your companions.”

Fathers must extol the righteous life of the Lord Jesus Christ in their daily lives if their daughters are to have faith-filled hearts. Fathers need to love righteousness —the very best things—and to be dissatisfied with the world’s bankrupt solutions. This is the key to a daughter’s heart.

Pray that our daughters will have the character of the Lord Jesus Christ so that when they are in times of trouble, they will cry out to God for their answers instead of looking into their own hearts, into the lives of their peers, or into the popular songs of the day.

Second, you can see the breakdown of protection in the leadership of Lot as a father. It is easy to say that Lot is a terrible example as a father. Here is a father who has not lovingly or effectively trained his daughters. God has given Lot to us as an example of what NOT to do. Lot consented to the disobedient behavior of his daughters. He got drunk, and don’t believe for a minute that he was a victim.

Notice that what has happened in so many homes in our day happened in Lot’s home nearly four thousand years ago. Alcohol made the unthinkable actually plausible. This story should give us pause to carefully consider the presence of alcohol in our homes. I am not making a biblical case for total abstinence of alcohol (because Scripture does not do so), but I would like to note that we have two cases of alcohol in the home in the first nineteen chapters of Genesis, and neither one is positive. There are two incidences: Noah’s drunkenness and Lot’s drunkenness. These accounts should not escape our careful attention. The testimony of Noah and Lot should cause us to be cautious, should we choose to have alcohol in our homes.

In Conclusion

Fathers, you must take active steps to guard your daughters from harm. Here are some practical ways you can protect them:

• Position them for a hope-filled life by filling their minds with the sufficiency found in God’s Word. In this way you will fortify them by your good deposit of clear teaching.
• Instruct them on the destructive influences around them by exposing the harmful messages propounded by their peers and carried by many of the popular songs of our day.
• Draw near to them by taking the time to listen to your daughters and responding to their concerns. Be available for them.
• Give them clear and firm direction, even when it grates against their inclinations. Let them know that all of their feminine desires are not helpful, and that if they simply follow their hearts, they will lose the essence of what they are longing for.

Oh, fathers, take responsibility for protecting your daughters. Cry out to the Lord for them. How easy it is for them to lose heart. Everything the devil has for them is designed to kill, steal, and destroy their hope. Become a fountain of life for them. Create for them green pastures and pure waters. Expose the wolf. Silence the liar. Protect your precious lambs.

Continue Reading »

Continue Reading »

Articles and Books on the Gospel

The written word of today may be the preaching of the past. Following are selections from the vast array of written works on the gospel:

• The Heart of the Gospel by C.H. Spurgeon
• God’s Way of Peace by Horatius Bonar
• The Way of Salvation by J.C. Ryle
• A Sure Guide to Heaven by Joseph Alleine
• Justification Is by Grace Alone by John Calvin
• The Wonderful Compassion of Christ to the Greatest Sinners by Samuel Davies
• The Divine Perfections Illustrated in the Method of Salvation, through the Sufferings of Christ by Samuel Davies
• Looking Unto Jesus by J.C. Ryle
• Gospel Humiliation by Ralph Erskine
• God’s Gospel of Grace produced by Chapel Library
• The Method of Grace by John Flavel

Sermons and Audio on the Gospel

Paul wrote in Titus 1:1-3: “Paul, a bondservant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God’s elect and the acknowledgment of the truth which accords with godliness, in hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began, but has in due time manifested His word through preaching, which was committed to me according to the commandment of God our Savior.” Preaching is of utmost importance in the communication of the gospel. Glean from this rich array of sermons.

• The Essence of the Gospel by Dr. Joel Beeke
• The True Gospel by Paul Washer
• There is Salvation in No One Else by John Piper
• The Glorious Gospel by Jeff Pollard
• How Can We Witness if We Don’t Know What the Gospel Is? by John MacArthur
• No Resurrection – No Gospel by William Einwechter
• The Gospel by William Einwechter
• The Gospel According to Isaiah – He Made His Soul an Offering for Sin by Chris Strevel
• The Gospel of Reconciliation by Chris Strevel

Video Sermons/Thoughts on the Gospel

• Jesus Died! by Paul Washer
• Do You Desire God? by Paul Washer
• This Is the Judgment: Light Has Come into the World by John Piper
• R.C. Sproul Highlights the Gospel by R.C. Sproul
• Christ the Only Way by R.C. Sproul

Continue Reading »