In Genesis 35:2-4, we see a father (Jacob) appealing to his children to abandon their idols, change their garments, and make a new start. Every morning, God gives us a new day, to identify our idols and sins and begin afresh.

And Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, “Put away the foreign gods that are among you, purify yourselves, and change your garments. Then let us arise and go up to Bethel; and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me in the way which I have gone.” So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods which were in their hands, and the earrings which were in their ears; and Jacob hid them under the terebinth tree which was by Shechem.

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Tags: daughter, discipleship, discipline, father, idol, reformation, son, training

Here is J.R. Miller writing on the amazing role of a wife as an influencer of her husband:

Again let me say that no wife can over-estimate the influence she wields over her husband, or the measure in which his character, his career and his every destiny are laid in her hands for shaping. The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is mighty and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as queen of his life, she can do with him as she will. Even unconsciously to her herself, without any thought of her responsibility, she will exert over him an influence that will go far toward making or marring all his future.

If she is vain and frivolous, she will only chill his ardor, weaken his resolution and draw him aside from any earnest endeavor. But if she has in her soul noble womanly qualities, if she has true thoughts of life, if she has purpose, strength of character and fidelity to principle, she will be to him an unfailing inspiration toward all that is noble, manly and Christ-like. The high conceptions of life in her mind will elevate his conceptions. Her firm, strong purpose will put vigor and determination into every resolve and act of his.

Her purity of soul will cleanse and refine his spirit. Her warm interest in all his affairs and her wise counsel at every point will make him strong for every duty and valiant in every struggle. Her bright, orderly, happy homemaking will be a perpetual source of joy and peace, and an incentive to nobler living. Her unwavering faithfulness, her tender affection, her womanly sympathy, her beauty of soul, will make her to him God’s angel indeed, sheltering, guarding, keeping, guiding and blessing him. Just in the measure in which she realizes this lofty ideal of wifehood will she fulfill her mission and reap the rich harvest of her hopes.

Such is the ‘woman’s lot’ that falls on every wife. It is solemn enough to make her very thoughtful and very earnest. How can she make sure that her influence over her husband will be for good, that he will be a better man, more successful and more happy because she is his wife? Not by any weak resolving to help him and be an uplifting inspiration to him; not by perpetual preaching and lecturing on a husband’s duties and on manly character; she can do it only by being in the very depths of her soul, in every thought and impulse of her heart and in every fiber of her nature, a true and noble woman. She will make him not like what she tells him he ought to be, but like what she herself is.

So it all comes back to a question of character. She can be a good wife only by being a good woman. And she can be a good woman in the true sense only by being a Christian woman. Nowhere save in Christ can she find the wisdom and strength she needs to meet the solemn responsibilities of wifehood. Only in Christ can she find that rich beauty of soul, those gems and pearls of the character, which shall make her lovely in her husband’s sight when the bloom of youth is gone, when the brilliance has faded out of her eyes and the roses have fled from her cheeks. Only Christ can teach her how to live so as to be blessed and a blessing in her married life.

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Tags: beauty, christian, husband, influence, love, marriage, wife

I found the following summary, How the Gospel Can Transform a Marriage, to be helpful in seeing the applicability of the gospel in marriage:

• Because of the gospel, Christians have become new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, in our marriage, our past does not define us, confine us, or determine our future.
• Because of the gospel, we are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). Therefore we can live free of all guilt and condemnation for every sin, and we can trust that God, in his mercy, will be gracious to us.
• Because of the gospel, we can forgive, just as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Nothing done against us compares to our sin against God. Therefore all offenses, hostility, and bitterness between Christians can be completely forgiven and removed.
• Because of the gospel, we are accepted by God (Romans 15:7). Therefore we are not dependent on a spouse for who we are or what we need.
• Because of the gospel, sin’s ruling power over us is broken (Romans 6:6, 14). Therefore we can truly obey all that God calls us to do in our marriage, regardless of any circumstance or situation.
• Because of the gospel, we have access to God through Christ (Hebrews 4:14-16). Therefore we can at any time take any need in our marriage to the One who can do all things.
• Because of the gospel, we have hope (Romans 5:1-4). Therefore we can endure any marital difficulty, hardship, or suffering, with the assurance that God is working all to our greatest good (Romans 8:28).
• Because of the gospel, Christ dwells in us by his Holy Spirit (Galatians 3:13-14). Therefore we are confident that God is always with us and is always at work in our marriage, even when progress is imperceptible (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
• Because of the gospel, we have power to fight and overcome remaining sin, which continues to dwell and war within us (Romans 7:19-21, 24-25; Galatians 5:16-17). This indwelling enemy represents the essence of what is called the doctrine of sin.

These are just a few of the ways the gospel can transform a marriage. Sometimes it’s not easy to live in the reality of these truths. But it is always possible—and not because of our strength or determination, but because of God’s empowering and enabling grace.

Gary and Betsy Ricuchi, Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace (Crossway, 2006), pp. 22-23.

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Tags: gospel, husband, love, marriage, transform, wife

Please join me and other speakers in Chesapeake, VA for A Call to Battle Men’s Conference at Calvary Revival Church Chesapeake. This conference will immediately follow the NCFIC The Master’s Plan for Fatherhood conference in Chesapeake, and will be a tool to teach biblical manhood and fatherhood, to get fathers back into their God-ordained place within the home as the priest, prophet, provider, and protector; to show men and fathers the urgent need to return to the principles, patterns, and precepts of the Word of God in leading their families; and to show men and fathers the importance of having and teaching/training their children and families with a biblical worldview.

Learn more about this conference and register here.

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Tags: battle, daughter, father, mother, preparation, son

©iStockphoto.com/BrandyTaylor

One of the most important things we teach our children is how to work – how to take dominion. We have to realize that we face a multitude of daunting obstacles. We must face the fact that we live in a particular kind of world where people underestimate what children can produce; where parents are content to outsource their children to institutions where they produce nothing of tangible value; where the population actually hates work so much that they work 8 hour days and live for the weekends; where they hate to see children working as evidenced by the child labor laws in your region. So how do you teach your children how to work? It is a long discussion. I will be addressing these matters at Kevin Swanson’s Economics Conference in St. Louis next month. But here, my friend Charles Churchill offers some sound wisdom on the matter:

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Tags: Bible, child, children, Christ, daughter, dominion, family, father, Honor, love, mother, work

This week, I am beginning an eleven city journey, with a specific mission. I am praying that God would raise up a new kind of father in our land – the kind of father the Bible describes. We need a new kind of father. But, it turns out, the new kind of father we need, is the father of old that originated in God the Father. He has revealed in His Word what His kind of father looks like. I am looking for a few serious fathers who are willing to engage in fifteen expositions of fatherhood passages in Scripture. I want them to soak in the language of fatherhood in the Bible. I want them to review the commands and examples that are beacons of light for such a time as this. (more…)

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Tags: dad, daughter, father, God, mother, parent, son

Do you know this feeling? This is among the leading death knells to the desire for children in families. If God says that children are a blessing, why does it seem that they aren’t in my house? How do you create family life where children are a blessing and not a curse? Let me propose three ways, each of which is interdependent on the others.

(more…)

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Tags: boy, child raising, discipline, father, girl, home, mother

Parents, visit the new NCFIC website. In this video, I describe the vision and tools that I have sought to provide through our new website. As a pastor, a husband, and a father of four children, I have seen the blessings from obedience to the Word of God first hand. Bottom line: a family governed by the Word of God makes a happy little kingdom.

This website and all of its networking and media resources are geared to inspire biblical thinking for family life. We hope that the Lord will use this resource to build a new generation of families.

Let me know what you think about it.

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Tags: boy, daughter, father, girl, home, mother, parent, Scripture, son, sufficient

“When I look at all the women in the world, I find none of whom I can boast as I boast with joyful conscience of my own. This one God himself gave to me, and I know that He and all the angels are pleased when I hold fast to her in love and fidelity.”

– Martin Luther concerning Katie, his wife

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Tags: husband, love, marriage, wedding, wife

In the film, Whatever Happened to the Human Race?, Francis Schaeffer rightly said, “The sanctity of life did not come from nowhere.” He went on to declare that it came from the Bible.

So how do you use the Bible to defend the sanctity of life?  One of the gifts we need to pass on to the next generation is a firm remembrance of the sanctity of life. If we do not help the younger generation memorize the central passages of Scripture, they will not have the intellectual strength to resist the tide of tyranny against the unborn. Abortion is an attack on the entire Bible. In the Law, the Prophets, the Poetic Books, the Pauline Epistles, and the Gospels, we find evidence of the sacredness of life in the womb and the sovereignty of God at work in conception. Scripture makes it clear that there should be equal protection under the law for life in the womb.

The following passages of Scripture are key in building a biblical understanding of abortion and the sanctity of life. They are organized under the following headings: Life, Murder, Our Duty, and the Blessing of Children. (more…)

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Tags: abortion, baby, birth control, child, contraception, father, marriage, mother, the pill

• The Birth Control Movie Project seeks to make the definitive films on the subject of Birth Control & its Impact on the Church, Marriage, & Family.” http://thebirthcontrolmovie.com/the-films/
• There are 2 films, Birth Control: How Did We Get Here? which is currently available at www.thebirthcontrolmovie.com  and www.visionforum.com  and the sequel which is currently in production, Birth Control: Is It Up To Us?  A biography and Anthony Comstock is going to press and additional resources, e.g., study guides for the films and a text on birth control and the church are also in the works.

Comstock was a cautious man; he never described the objects he suppressed.  In like manner, the text is remarkably clear of explicit details, infamous names, book titles, etc.[10]  When dealing with such topics he was careful to not pique curiosity or sinful interest.  The Apostle Paul expresses this same sentiment when he implies that there are some things “not proper”[11] to discuss in detail.  Such caution is non-existent in the 21^st century, and Christians would do well to emulate this in an effort to keep people from stumbling.

Christian parents have accepted the man-centric false philosophy that their children “need to make their own decisions.”  The conventional wisdom is “You can’t shelter your children forever.”  While this may be true when those children become adults and leave their father’s household, it is certainly not true in those formative years.  The Bible says that children lack wisdom,[12] and parents are to guide them every step of the way.[13]  Children are required by God to obey their parents.[14]  Protecting children from sin is a God-commanded function of parents and all adults,[15] as well as teaching respect for adults[16] and fostering family and spiritual affections.[17] (more…)

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Tags: abortion, baby, birth control, child, contraception, father, marriage, mother, the pill

This week is the 140^th anniversary of the passage of the Postal Act of 1873, known today as the Comstock Act.  My friend Scott Dix is writing a book about Anthony Comstock titled, Outlawed! How Anthony Comstock Fought and Won the Purity of a Nation, as part of The Birth Control Movie Project.

When Contraception was Outlawed!

When it comes to the history of birth control in America, very few are aware that contraception was actually illegal in the United States for over 60 years, reaching well into the 20^th century (1873-1936), and that there were still some state laws against the prevention of conception on the books as late as 1965.  Many know about Margaret Sanger and the Planned Parenthood Federation of America.  But, they have forgotten where the battle waged in the early 20^th century – over the legalization of contraception.  Planned Parenthood, which was founded by Sanger, was originally known as the American Birth Control League.  Birth control was the foundational battleground, not abortion.

Long before the tide turned to erode the prevailing attitude regarding the evils of birth control, largely through Sanger’s efforts, one figure stood out – Anthony Comstock.  In fact, Comstock didn’t just stand out, he stood almost alone. (more…)

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Tags: abortion, baby, birth control, child, contraception, father, marriage, mother, the pill

Joel Beeke and I have just completed a modernizing edit of William Gouge’s Of Domestical Duties. The first of three volumes is available now. Click Here.

Have you ever desired a seasoned friend, thoroughly grounded in sacred Scripture to help you troubleshoot your family problems? And then, just as you were hoping for someone to come alongside to help, suddenly, it happens again. It might be an explosion of anger, or a cold distance. Or perhaps it’s just a nagging sense of inadequacy. Sometimes it feels like there are invisible walls between you and the others in your home. You know that you’re not all that you should be towards your loved ones. You know you need to change. And yet, where to begin? Wouldn’t it be nice to sit down with someone older and wiser, someone you could trust, for some guidance on how to be a better husband, wife, father, mother, son, or daughter?

This book is just such an opportunity. In these pages, we hear the voice of a wise and loving mentor, calling us to the old paths laid out for the family in the Bible. It is like sitting down to coffee with a gentle grandfather and wise pastor.

William Gouge (1575–1653) was a godly husband and father to his family, and a spiritual father to many more. Born in England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, Gouge grew up in a godly home. He inherited a spiritual legacy and passed it on to future generations.

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Tags: daughter, family, husband, marriage, Of Domestical Duties, puritan, son, wife, William Gouge

It always makes for trouble in relationships when there is an expectation of perfection. Here is a clip from a sermon stating the details of how this happens and how to address it:

Half the miseries and disquietudes, half the interruptions of conjugal peace and domestic felicity, arise from desires too ardent, and hopes too sanguine; both parties, at their first entrance into the nuptial state, especially in youth, are apt to form to themselves ideas, very inadequate and disproportioned to the condition of human life; to entertain delusive notions of a romantic and visionary paradise, where the earth is cloathed with perpetual verdure, the flowers never fade, and the fruits are immortal; but when instead of this, they begin, perhaps in a short time, to feel the thorns springing up under their feet, (more…)

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Tags: Bible, child, children, Christ, dating, daughter, family, father, godliness, gospel, love, manhood, marriage, mercy, relationship, sacrifice, speak, speech, Spirit, womanhood, Word

Here are “Fifteen indispensable pursuits that prepare the next generation for marriage.”

1. The Clearest understanding of the Gospel, Col. 1:14
2. The Gladdest embrace of God, Ps. 100
3. The Thirstiest passion for the Word of God, Ps. 119
4.  The Keenest inclination for repentance, Ps. 51
5. The Hottest desire for holiness,1 Pet. 1:16
6. The Sweetest harmony in marriage, Eph. 5:22-33
7. The Quickest pursuit of reconciliation, Eph. 4:26
8. The Highest investment in the church, Eph. 1:23; 5:32
9. The Biggest vision for life, 1 Cor. 10:31
10. The Liveliest, zippiest daily life, Deut. 6:1-9
11. The Sharpest conception of marriage, Eph. 5:22-33
12. The Tightest embrace of biblical manhood and womanhood, Tit. 2
13. The Strongest sense of the sovereignty of God, Dan. 4
14. The Hungriest desire to worship the one true God, John 4:23
15. The Humblest acts of service toward the needy, Prov. 19:7

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Tags: Bible, child, children, Christ, courtship, dating, daughter, discipleship, family, father, feminism, fret, godliness, gospel, happy, hate, joy, love, manhood, marriage, relationship, sacrifice, speech, talk, womanhood, worry