Wake Forest Road Trip Stop

 

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Approximately 350 people came to participate in kicking off the Road Trip in Wake Forest. We heard seven messages from seven pastors who told their stories of church and family reform. Boyd Dellinger, Steve Breagy, Jimmy Ferebee, Ken Auer, Dan Horn, Jason Dohm and myself all gave messages.

Dan Horn, “It gives us great concern that people withdraw from the church.”

Jimmy Ferebee, “I was going the wrong way – in earnest”

Boyd Dellinger, “The NCFIC is like a house of many rooms, and many activities going on in those rooms. If you go into the living room, you will find a father conducting family worship, and if you go into the kitchen you will find,… but the roof of that house is the sufficiency of scripture.”

Jason Dohm, elder at Hope Baptist, “I want to show how the first command and Deuteronomy 6 relate and how they are inseparable. There is no such thing as a faithful obedience to the first commandment which leads the life of a home untouched. The first commandment always works itself out in what you do when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.”

Ken Auer, of Southwest Wake Assembly, said, “I grew up in the mainstream as a fish swimming down stream with all the other fish. I was a fish and did not know I was wet.”

Steve Breagy, “I was a pastor and thought I was wise, but realized that God said, ‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise.’ I realized that my wisdom was worldly wisdom.”

Harry Upchurch, of Anchor Baptist Church in Bunn, NC, “The greatest reformation happens when we reject extrabiblical practices. Jesus did not break people up by age, and I want to do what Jesus did. The more we get away from that pattern the more damage we do. If we take the whole bible and apply it to our church, God will bless us.”

Dan Horn, “The indispensable center of church and family life is the glory of God. If we change focus in our families and begin to do the right things and are doing it for self-improvement rather than the glory of God we are robbing God. We have forgotten God.”

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Nations are Nothing but a Collection of Families

In a day of extreme individualism and neglect of family life principles, it often helps to hear voices from the past. J.C. Ryle, in his commentary on the gospel of Matthew, writes about the extreme importance of families.

It is difficult to overrate the importance of these two subjects. The well-being of nations, and the happiness of society, are closely connected with right views upon them. Nations are nothing but a collection of families. The good order of families depends entirely on keeping up the highest standard of respect for the marriage tie, and on the right training of children. We ought to be thankful, that on both these points, the great Head of the Church has pronounced judgment so clearly.

-J.C. Ryle

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Road Trip: Fellowship Over Tea with Deborah Brown – Preparing our daughters to be Proverbs 31 Women

 

 

At various stops along the Reforming Church and Family Road Trip, we will be hosting ladies teas. Join Deborah Brown and her daughters Kelly, Blair, Claudia and her new daughter, Monica as they share their insights into the God-given role of a woman.

The culture would have a woman pour her heart and energy into a career outside the home to find blessing there. But the Bible paints a very different picture of a woman’s life. It is the occupation of the home, the care of a husband and children for the glory of God for many generations. It is a role she is uniquely gifted to fulfill. Because we as women are affected by the messages surrounding us, we find ourselves, at times, discouraged and confused. Could it be that we have listened to the wrong voices? Deborah and her daughters would like to bring the voice of Scripture as a light unto our feet and a lamp unto our paths. This lamp is “the same yesterday, today and forever.” It will never go out and will always be true. Herein lies the blessing for mothers and their daughters.

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Psalm for the Sabbath Day

Psalm 92

A Psalm or Song for the sabbath day. It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High:
To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound.
For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
O LORD, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep.
A brutish man knoweth not; neither doth a fool understand this.
When the wicked spring as the grass, and when all the workers of iniquity do flourish; it is that they shall be destroyed for ever:
But thou, LORD, art most high for evermore.
For, lo, thine enemies, O LORD, for, lo, thine enemies shall perish; all the workers of iniquity shall be scattered.
But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.
Mine eye also shall see my desire on mine enemies, and mine ears shall hear my desire of the wicked that rise up against me.
The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;
To shew that the LORD is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.

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Meet Us on the Road – An Invitation from Scott Brown and Peter Bradrick

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Meet Us On The Road from NCFIC on Vimeo.

Click HERE for more information.

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“Little Timothy Learned His ABC’s From the Bible”

The Bible commentator, Lenski explains in his own words how Timothy learned the sacred writings,

Little Timothy learned his ABC’s from the Bible, learned to read from the Bible, and thus from earliest childhood spelled out “sacred letters.” As he spelled out this and that word, mother and grandmother told the story. Soon he could read a little, ask questions, hear more. A lovely picture indeed! I like it better than our method of today which supplies secular matter for the primers and holds back the sacred letters until later years.

(R. C. H. Lenski, The Interpretation of St. Paul’s Epistles to the Colossians, to the Thessalonians, to Timothy, to Titus and to Philemon, 839 [Columbus, O.: Lutheran Book Concern, 1937]) accessed from Pyromaniacs Blog on May 15, 2010.

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Visit Us On The Road

Road Trip: We Are Collecting Stories of Biblical Reformation – What’s Yours?

There is a reformation of practices that is sweeping our land. We want to document them on our Road Trip Across America. Would you be willing to come to the meeting nearest you, ready to share your own story of reformation? If so, I would like to either put you in front of a video camera to get a 1-3 minute testimony or to get it in writing. If you would like to submit it in writing, please email to me, Scott Brown at [email protected].

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John MacArthur on The Sufficiency of Scripture

In the book, The Coming Evangelical Crisis, by John H. Armstrong, John MacArthur has a chapter on the Regulative Principle of Worship, entitled, “How Shall We Then Worship?”

He writes,
How does the sufficiency of Scripture apply to worship? The Reformers answered that question by applying sola Scriptura to worship in a tenet historically called the regulative principle. John Calvin was one of the first to articulate it succinctly:

We may not adopt any device [in our worship] which seems fit to ourselves, but look to the injunctions of him who alone is entitled to prescribe. Therefore, if we would have him approve our worship, this rule, which he everywhere enforces with the utmost strictness, must be carefully observed. . . . God disapproves of all modes of worship not expressly sanctioned by his word.

“Calvin supported this principle with a number of relevant biblical texts, including 1 Samuel 15:22: ‘To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams.’ He also appealed to Matthew 15:9, which says, ‘In vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’

“An English Reformer and a contemporary of Calvin, John Hooper, stated the same principle in this way: “Nothing should be used in the Church which has not either the express Word of God to support it, or otherwise is a thing indifferent in itself, which brings no profit when done or used, but no harm when not done or omitted.” And nineteenth-century Scottish church historian William Cunningham defined the regulative principle in these terms: “It is unwarrantable and unlawful to introduce into the government and worship of the church anything which has not the positive sanction of Scripture.”

“The Reformers and Puritans applied the regulative principle against formal ritual, priestly vestments, church hierarchy, and other remnants of medieval Roman Catholic worship. The regulative principle was often cited, for example, by English Reformers who opposed elements of high-church Anglicanism that had been borrowed from Catholic tradition. It was the Puritans’ commitment to the regulative principle that caused hundreds of Puritan pastors to be ejected by decree from Church of England pulpits in 1662.

“Furthermore, the simplicity of worship forms in Presbyterian, Baptist, Congregational, and other evangelical traditions is the result of applying the regulative principle. Evangelicals today would do well to recover their spiritual ancestors’ confidence in sola Scriptura as it applies to worship and church leadership. A number of harmful trends that are gaining momentum these days reveal a diminishing evangelical confidence in the sufficiency of Scripture. On the one hand, there is, as we have noted, almost a circus atmosphere in some churches, where pragmatic methods that trivialize what is holy are being employed to boost attendance. On the other hand, growing numbers of former evangelicals are abandoning simple worship forms in favor of high-church formalism. Some are even leaving evangelicalism altogether and aligning with Eastern Orthodoxy or Roman Catholicism.

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What is the NCFIC?

The NCFIC’s purpose is to correctly understand God’s unified vision for church and family, rightly diagnose the problems that impede this vision, and effectively communicate biblical solutions that rebuild family-affirming churches. We do not believe that family-integration is the only—or even the primary—issue in selecting or establishing a local church. But it is unquestionably a defining issue of our day as the modern church has lost the essential familistic culture that we see modeled in the New Testament.

The NCFIC is not a new denomination or confederation of churches but rather a network and resource for family-integrated churches and families seeking them. It is a ministry to America’s churches by Christian leaders who see faithful fathers and mothers struggling to find a meaningful, family-affirming relationship with their local church. All the men who work with the NCFIC believe in biblical church authority and are all under the oversight of their own local churches with regard to their moral life.

The NCFIC is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to the restoration of the church and family for the glory of God. To this end, NCFIC provides a host of supportive resources including challenging articles, inspiring testimonies, national and regional conferences, instructive audiotapes, recommended books, pastoral training and a growing database of family-integrated churches near you.

Please meet us on the Road Trip Across America, and at our Love the Church conference this year. And don’t forget to look up our web site www.ncfic.com which is a treasure trove of resources for the reformation of church and family according to scripture.

We can be grateful that we are living in a time of reformation where God is bringing His church back to her roots in scripture. One of the marks of the current reformation is that church and family life are being re ordered according to scripture.

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He Who Follows Frivolity

One of the messages we like to pound home is that young men should not spend their years of youth playing games. Here Solomon touches on one of the reasons why – it reflects a gigantic absence of “understanding,’ and the stupidity of following what is empty,

“He who tills the land will be satisfied with bread, But he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding.” Proverbs 12:11

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View Church Ministry Through ‘Family Lens,’ conference speakers urge

A recent conference featuring Southern Baptist leaders reflects some of the important thinking that is being generated regarding age segregation, family ministry and the popular patterns of ministry that have prevailed in the last fifty years,

More and more vocational staffers and ministry specialists have in many churches led to one type of disconnect—extensive segregation, according to Waylan Owens, dean of the Terry School of Church and Family Ministries at Southwestern Seminary. While Owens agrees that some segregation is useful, he also cautions that dividing all ministries according to age or life situation or preference serves to dishonor parents, dishonor the senior citizens, and dishonor the children and what they can add to the faith experience of adults.

Speaking to the conference, Owens said, “Many times I go to churches and it seems there is always someone who wants to take my children from me. They take them to Sunday School, then to children’s church. The youth have their own Sunday School, their own worship, and their own Sunday night thing. I have gotten in trouble for wanting to keep my children with me.

Drawing on an agricultural picture from his West Texas background, Richard Ross described the landscape of church life as a cluster of silos—one for preschoolers, one for school-age children, one for students, one for adult ministries, and so on. “What we don’t need is one more silo that is the “family-ministry silo,” he said in sharing his vision for family-focused church ministry.

Speaking to hundreds of ministers and future church leaders at a conference co-hosted by the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Ross emphasized that ministry to families is not another program or age-group “silo” to manage. Rather, it is a way to view existing ministries while always keeping in mind the Deuteronomy 6:4-9 mandate for parents to be the primary spiritual instructors of their children.

“Figure out laterally how to put a family focus on it. Use a ‘home lens’ for everything versus creating a new silo,” he said.

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When Someone Leaves a Church or is Disciplined – A Time of Vulnerability

Churches are incredibly vulnerable at particular historical moments. Because of this, church leaders need to carefully shepherd their flocks to prepare them for that flash point when temptations are many. After all, “the tongue is a fire” and “a world of iniquity” and is often “set on fire by hell” (James 3:1-12). This is why there are many opportunities for unrighteous fire in a church. How many? As many as there are tongues, but multiplied by all the conversations that are generated.

There are two very sensitive “moments” that need careful attention – when someone leaves or is disciplined. During these influential opportunities, church leaders, church members and onlookers have particular responsibilities before God to “preserve the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.” They need to be extremely sensitive to how the devil will attempt to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10).

When someone leaves your church

When a person leaves, when a key family leaves or when an elder, deacon or a gifted leader leaves the church has entered a season of hyper vulnerability. Each of these situations have their own particular challenges. Let me suggest that the damage done can escalate according to the degree of prominence of the person leaving or is disciplined.

It is always difficult on people when beloved families leave a church. Through it all, we ought to strive for gracious and humble goodbyes, instead of tearing into one another. “For the law is fulfilled in one word, even this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another” (Galatians 5:14-15).

The vulnerability it creates for those who leave

Not only is a church like a “sitting duck” when someone leaves, the person or family who leaves faces a number of important decisions. He needs to grasp the fact that he has responsibilities before God to refrain from putting out a bad report. He needs to understand that, “whoever slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy” (Psalm 101:5).

The people leaving are also exposed in the sense that they may say things they should not – things that tear down and not build up – things that divide and defeat a spirit of love in the church.

The loaded messages you leave them with will stick in their minds for a long time. Even if you say nothing, just disappearing is also leaving a powerful message. The nature of goodbyes is important.

The challenges for the people who stay

The people who stay are probably the most vulnerable because they may feel hurt. They will inevitably grapple with feelings of confusion or anger or uncertainty. This can change people to vipers. Or it may make them feel insecure or that they have somehow missed something and they should leave too. These are the common responses that some people will have and they need to know their responsibility not to seek to use that as an excuse to find that tasty morsel that goes into the innermost parts of the belly (Proverbs 18:8).

When an elder leaves the church

When a key leader leaves, the people in the congregation are incredibly susceptible to a host of negative forces. Everyone in the church needs to be informed up front that if an elder (or even a family in the church leaves) they will be subject to temptations to anger, taking sides, gossip, speculation, rebellion, self righteousness, presumption, wrong conclusions and broken relationships. This situation is a perfect entry point for a host of misunderstandings. It is also a time where people are tempted to take a count of all the wrongs done to them by the people involved, instead of continuing to let them be covered over by love. When someone leaves it is almost inevitable that there will be a wake of hurt feelings. Most of the people will be asking: “Why are you leaving us? Why are you rejecting us? What is wrong with us? Who made you leave? Ok, what is the real story? Whose fault is this?”

Magnifying problems

In this environment it is common that people will magnify whatever real or perceived problems were there. They will be tempted to make too much of the problems that made the elder leave through speculation. Unfortunately, the sinful human mind often speculates in the wrong direction – toward disunity and anger and separating brothers.

A lust for information

There will be a few who will want to know more than they should know. People in our society believe that they are obligated to know everything about the situation. After all, we live in “gossip nation” where people feel they should know all the dirt. You will find that some people will be relentless in trying to get the “real” story. This lust for information often results in further fracturing of relationships.

But like many things where biblical communications should be followed, everyone is not entitled to know everything and there will always be some who will use this as a point of contention. It is here that a spirit of trust and honor toward those God has placed in authority be upheld.

In times like these, conversation should be tempered by the reality of the timing of the judgment of God. Paul said to the Corinthians, “Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God” (1 Cor 4:4).

Temptations for onlookers in the community

Fellow believers in the community also have responsibilities to the Church of Jesus Christ, wherever it is organized as a local church. One of the heartbreaking aspects of people leaving is that you can often expect that some people looking in from the outside, will speak confidently and condemningly about things they know very little about. Often they will judge your leaving either as further reason for condemnation of the ministry and will naturally be found saying hurtful things. People who have harbored hurts or who have an axe to grind are commonly among these onlookers.

When a church member is disciplined

This causes hundreds of dangerous conversations and opportunities to sin. There are two particular vulnerabilities that the devil will attempt to capitalize on. The person being disciplined can be sinned against through the unrighteous conversation of other church members.

Likewise the disciplined church member is extremely susceptible to unrighteous anger and lashing back and making a mockery of the action taken.

Further, people in the congregation will be tempted to dishonor and disobey the authorities God has established in the church. The reality is that church leaders do not see everything perfectly and may make mistakes or even sin. However this is not a valid excuse to escape their authority that God has established in a local church.

What should church leaders do in times like these?

Don’t leave them unprotected – take action. People in the church often need to be reminded of the power of the tongue for evil, for “the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6).

If a church is unclear or untaught regarding the both the authority of the government of the church and the responsibility to govern the tongue, that church is extremely unsafe – poised for a terrible fire. It is a building ready to burn at the slightest spark.

Churches often never recover from the “tasty morsels” that went down to the “innermost being” (Proverbs 26:22). Reputations are destroyed, friendships are ruined. No one wins because love was not “covering” the “multitude of sins” and human failings that surfaced during these opportune moments.

Perhaps this is why Jesus issued very harsh warnings about the use of the tongue,

“Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:34-37).

How do you have loving goodbyes when it seems so hard and confusing? How do you react to someone leaving? In times like these, it is wise to heed the admonition,

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29).

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Church and Family Issues – Is the church harmful to pastor’s families?

We have taken the position that churches are often harmful to the families of the church because of things like worldliness, over programming that makes family discipleship impossible from a schedule standpoint, and age segregation. But here is another way that churches are sometimes heartbreakingly harmful. They harm the family of the pastor. Here are some startling statistics on the matter:

• 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week

• 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

• 95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

• 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

• 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.

• 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.

• 80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged as
role of pastors.

• 90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they
thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

• 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

• 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

• 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

• 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

• 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.

• 33% confess having been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church.

• 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if
they could, but have no other way of making a living.

• 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

• 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.

• 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.

• 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor’s ministry.

• 80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked.

• 80% spouses feel left out and underappreciated by church members.

• 80% of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose a different
profession.

• 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.

• Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.

• The average American will tell 23 lies a day.

• The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman”.

4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.

• Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

• Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month, many without cause.

• Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.

• Many denominations report an “empty pulpit crisis”. They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

#1 reason pastors leave the ministry — Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor’s believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.

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William Gouge, on The Reason for Happy Churches and Families

Happy is that kingdom where Magistrates and subjects fear the Lord. Happy is that Church where Ministers and people fear the Lord. Happy is that family where husband and wife, parents and children, master and servants fear the Lord. In such a Kingdom, Church, and family, will everyone, to the mutual good one of another, submit themselves one to another.

William Gouge, “Domestical Duties, The Husband’s Part”

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The Family as a Bee Hive Sending Out Swarms of Bees

“The family is a seminary of the Church and Commonwealth. It is as a bee-hive, in which is the stock, and out of which are sent many swarms of bees: for in families are all sorts of people bred and brought up: and out of families are they lent into the Church and Commonwealth.”

William Gouge, “Domestical Duties”, in the section, “The Husband’s Part”

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